


Jane's bombass bomb-ass Bomb!Jane AU

by 2lipp



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bomb, F/F, Other, bombgirl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:51:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8749657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2lipp/pseuds/2lipp
Summary: Janes ass is LITERALLY a bomb and thats really all there is to say on the matter.  (Three short stories)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly edited chatlog from a discord conversation where I wrote three impromptu stories about Bombgirl!Jane
> 
> Come join the /hsg/ NSFW Homestuck Discord https://discord.gg/jBBFCfR

**Dusk-Today at 12:29 AM**  
  
Which Homestuck girl would make a good bomb, and how would she get bombified? ;P  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:30 AM**  
  
Meenah I'd say  
  
Since she wiped her whole fucking session out  
  
gathering everyone at once  
  
having like. the tumor bomb in her space troll ovaries  
  
and when she orgasmed the bomb would go off  
  
something like that  
  
I should be a professional smut writer with ideas like that  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:38 AM**  
  
that sounds pretty hot  
  
I also think there's just...something cute about the idea of Jane with a fuse sticking out of her big ass, if that makes any sense?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:39 AM**  
  
Her being all embarrassed about it and all  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:39 AM**  
  
yesss  
  
plus, remember how fucking HUGE jane's ass is  
  
imagine how big she'll blow~  
  
ok but  
  
what's roxy's reaction to finding out her girlfriend/crush/potential fuckbuddy has a new explosive upgrade  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:42 AM**  
  
Well if its a lit fuse to put it out  
  
by all together too sexily putting her lips on the wick  
  
*exsexily  
  
but she would totally be down with it  
  
"I always TOLD you your ass was DA BOMB Janey"  
  
followed by Jane groaning at the terrible pun  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:44 AM**  
  
i feel like - cause god tier means no consequences - she'd want to blow Jane up at least once

**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:44 AM**  
  
oh for sure. Roxy would insist on Jane trying it at leeeeeaaaast oooonnccee  
  
whats the worst that could happen Jane  
  
She's set her up to do it in front of dirk  
  
to watch him flip his shit  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:45 AM**  
  
huh?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:45 AM**  
  
as a prank  
  
Roxy'd say something like "yo Jane okay we have to do it here. Trust me it'll be great. "  
  
she'd light the fuse then push Jane through a window or something (of course Janes ass getting stuck halfway through it)  
  
and Jane'd end up in front of dirk. (Dirk's a control freak and seeing his friend blow up would make him flip out even thouh she's  
  
fine in the end)  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:47 AM**  
  
hm hm.  
  
Continue, please?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:48 AM**  
  
Roxy would start getting a little too touchy trying to figure out this bomb in Jane  
  
And keep setting up more situations in front of the other kids and unknowing people  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:49 AM**  
  
oho?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:49 AM**  
  
one time after feeling deep around in Jane she'd find some way to control the timer on the fuse  
  
certainly feeling her without any other motive than figuring out this whole bomb sitch  
  
"dont worry Jane its what friends do"  
  
Roxy'd set the timer for a long slooooow burn  
  
her and Jane would go over and have a chat with Karkat  
  
and over just a long drawn out conversation  
  
Jane counting every minute  
  
then ten seconds  
  
then every second  
  
somewhere along the line she lost count  
  
because she had to keep up this conversation  
  
so now even SHE doesn't know when its going to go off because Roxy changed the timer  
  
so she's nervously trying to keep up the conversation like normal  
  
but constantly thinking "it could happen at any second"  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:52 AM**  
  
fuck fuck yes, more please  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:53 AM**  
  
Roxy this whole time has been glancing at Jane  
  
Between bits of talking she'd throw Jane a quick smile  
  
or her eyes would flit over to her  
  
watching Jane writhe internally  
  
Little does Jane know Roxy stopped the timer at 00:01  
  
she can let it go at any second  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:54 AM**  
  
omg  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:54 AM**  
  
Karkat not knowing a single thing thats going on is still blabbing away  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:54 AM**  
  
so the spark is hovering like  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:54 AM**  
  
RIGHT there  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:54 AM**  
  
just above her ass  
  
yes  
  
omfg yess  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:55 AM**  
  
Jane is shifting her thighs back and forth  
  
shes starting to sweat  
  
it should have gone off by now  
  
this is the longest time its ever been  
  
or..is it?  
  
how long has it been? I have no idea  
  
it has to be close by now  
  
is it even lit  
  
she'll try to look back but its so close she cant see it  
  
She glances at roxy and notices her for the first time  
  
Roxy winks  
  
blows her a kiss  
  
00:00  
  
**Dusk-Today at 12:57 AM**  
  
Kaboom?~  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 12:57 AM**  
  
The biggest kaboom yet  
  
all three of them  
  
the hive  
  
the street  
  
the block  
  
"What do you mean Jane? I'd neeever mess with the fuse." She'd say with a wiry smile  
  
Roxy would suggest going to visit one of the more populated areas  
  
like Prospit or Derse  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:00 AM**  
  
she'd say "lets go clothes shopping or somethin  
  
"After all you gotta have clothes to fit the fuse riiiight"  
  
They'd go without a lit fuse Jane would insist  
  
but Roxy would slooowly burn it down  
  
Jane would notice but couldn't see it  
  
since her ass was just altogether too "phat"  
  
Roxy would insist that it's not going down  
  
Roxy would follow behind Jane the entire time watching it slowly work its way down  
  
store by store  
  
block by block  
  
Jane would feel it  
  
she couldn't ignore it now  
  
but what could she do? She can't put it out. So she would have to embrace it  
  
she would start to enjoy the feeling of it going down  
  
knowing that if she stayed on Prospit too long the entire place could go up in flames  
  
But Jane would manage her time  
  
she would be able to finish up here and leave to blow in a safe place  
  
Roxy would have none of this  
  
Jane would be in the middle of something casual and suddenly feel something inside her switch  
  
she'd hear in her own mind a slow and methodical  
  
'tick-tock'  
  
she'd start to hear the faint tsssss  
  
she had to get out of here. It couldn't be sa-  
  
she'd stop mid thought  
  
as the fuse got closer to detonation it would magnify in pleasure  
  
2x 3x 6x 10x  
  
it felt so good Jane dropped what she was holding  
  
Roxy came up behind her grabbing her by the love handles and pressing herself against Janes back  
  
whispering in her hear Roxy would say  
  
" _blow_ "  
  
Jane didn't care where she was or what she was doing anymore  
  
As Roxy rolled her hands across Janes front the wick in back would start to tickle her spine as it got closer and closer  
  
so near to detonation now she couldn't think of anything else  
  
Roxy would embrace Jane in the final three seconds  
  
now two  
  
one  
  
The entirety of Prospit would be gone. the only thing left a sliver of moon  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:10 AM**  
  
oh my  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:10 AM**  
  
didn't expect to go into this typing an impromptu fapfic  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:10 AM**  
  
one, ahem, last thing.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:10 AM**  
  
the world works in funny ways  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:10 AM**  
  
Jane's business suit.  
  
Imagine that, her huge, bomb ass crammed into that little skirt.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:11 AM**  
  
what do you think she was getting done on that prospit trip?  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:11 AM**  
  
The fuse sticking out of it.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:11 AM**  
  
she was planning on getting it let out because "It feels so improper"  
  
Roxy couldn't let that happen in good conscience  
  
she knows that bombass is..  
  
bombastic  
  
B)  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:12 AM**  
  
Heehee.  
  
"Improper?~"  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:12 AM**  
  
just imagine Jane sitting at her desk  
  
having to shift every now and then because she's too BULBOUS  
  
and the extra long wick Kanaya made her wrapped around the chair  
  
as a business woman Jane couldn't have herself blowing her clients  
  
and because she's on the top she didn't have to blow her bosses either  
  
hey ooooooh  
  
Maybe  
  
Just maybe  
  
Roxy had a chat with Kanaya before hand  
  
let her know the importance of Janes wick  
  
let her know that a slow burning wick just wont do  
  
Maybe Jane is sitting down at her desk when she notices something feels off  
  
she feels a little lighter when she gets up because a large section of her wick has already gone  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:16 AM**  
  
Oh my~  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:16 AM**  
  
she thinks" I must have just not noticed it since I don't feel it as strongly when its so far away"  
  
she thinks nothing of it. she's a busy woman after all  
  
she gets back to work  
  
after all  
  
she has a very important client coming soon  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:16 AM**  
  
Oho.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:17 AM**  
  
Too soon for her tastes  
  
but she knows she allotted proper time  
  
she knows how long it will take and like a proper businesswoman she has it all situated perfectly  
  
then she feels the wick skip again  
  
this time even further  
  
she looks closer and sees parts of the wick are different material  
  
some of the extension Kanaya made her burns faster than normal  
  
Jane can't have this come up during this incredibly important meeting  
  
she reaches to her phone to tell her Secretary Ms. Paint to postpone her meeting  
  
but right before she picks it up  
  
"Your meeting is here Ms. Crocker. I'll let her in now"  
  
Before Jane can say anything the door cracks open  
  
Jane starts panicking then thinks. "as long as I can close this deal fast there won't be an issue"  
  
she puts on her bravest face  
  
her "SRSBIZ face" as Roxy calls it  
  
Jane welcomes the Dersite  
  
And they begin discussing something incredibly important  
  
some immense project about "rebuilding prospit"  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:21 AM**  
  
mm  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:21 AM**  
  
Jane keeps her eyes locked on the woman  
  
but her mind keeps drifting back to the cord  
  
Aaah~  
  
she feels the wick skip another few inches  
  
she keeps her eyes trained and her voice level  
  
Jane tries to recall how many sections she saw earlier  
  
before she can even count them theres another jump  
  
this one larger  
  
6 inches  
  
has to be.  
  
Jane bites her lip  
  
She has to keep her attention on this Dersite...  
  
Theres another short jump!  
  
Jane bites a little harder  
  
each jump getting closer and closer  
  
and the feelings more crisp  
  
the wick which started wrapped around her chair is now on its final loop around the seat(edited)  
  
Not that Jane knows this  
  
shes trying to discuss the landscaping of Prospit Park with the lady across the desk  
  
her voice jumping a little bit as the wick speeds, slows  
  
Jane feels that same feeling she felt on prospit again as the wick sizzles down to the original length  
  
The derse girl across the desk starts to look worried  
  
Jane thinks "oh no"  
  
then she relaxes and says it was just her remembering she left her pumpkin seeds at home  
  
she hadn' noticed anything at all  
  
Jane was fully aware now of each and every  
  
INCH  
  
she was starting to care less and less about the time she had left  
  
her posture starts to relax as it its the thirty second mark(edited)  
  
a blush blooms on her face  
  
25  
  
the feelings in her lower half are blossoming too fast for her  
  
Jane begins reaching her hand down her thigh  
  
20  
  
Jane is keeping the conversation going with the dersite. Now about the structural integrity of the towers  
  
Jane doesn't care  
  
15  
  
Jane moves her fingers slowly into the middle of her dress shirt  
  
past the waistband  
  
she lifts her light blue panties with one of her nails(edited)  
  
10  
  
she moves down even further  
  
she begins slowly rubbing her clit  
  
she starts circular in one second spans  
  
counting in her mind the time left  
  
5  
  
The lady across from Jane all but forgotten to her  
  
4  
  
she moves her other hand  
  
3  
  
completely forgetting everything around her Jane has both hands down her skirt  
  
2  
  
she begins speeding up her cycles one hand lays on her thigh, the other aggressively working herself  
  
1  
  
Jane penetrates herself with her own fingers  
  
first one  
  
then two  
  
eyes fluttering in ecstasy.  
  
she finally cums.  
  
zero  
  
her own heat expands  
  
first her  
  
then the lady across the desk  
  
then the top floor  
  
then the floors below  
  
the debris scatters across the ground  
  
flung by her own personal rapture  
  
I've never written out anything with actual sex or masturbation before so :V  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:40 AM**  
  
You know, I'm curious.  
  
Why did she start ticking in the second scenario?  
  
The 'tick-tock' in her head, you said.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:40 AM**  
  
it was what she was thinking  
  
while she wasn't ticking out loud  
  
all she could think about was her time going down  
  
since in this bombstuck AU the closer the wick gets the more sexually pleasurable it is  
  
I guess  
  
I just kinda made it up on the fly  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:41 AM**  
  
it was  
  
so hot  
  
...Though that does beg the question!  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:42 AM**  
  
thanks  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:42 AM**  
  
If Jane's the most suited to becoming a fused cartoon bomb like that  
  
Who's the most suited to becoming a ticking time bomb?~  
  
mm  
  
Was the bomb thing appealing to you?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:44 AM**  
  
It's an interesting way to go about it  
  
I feel like I was focused more on Jane being aroused by the time constraints being forced on her  
  
like stories or images or whatever of someone in public with a vibrator  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:45 AM**  
  
Mmhm  
  
But instead of a vibrator, it was a hissing fuse.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:45 AM**  
  
yeah  
  
similar sound now that you mention it  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:45 AM**  
  
Also, for some reason, I was imagining that when she got the bomb her booty got bigger to go with it  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:45 AM**  
  
that's a good fit  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:46 AM**  
  
which is why she needed a new skirt, after all  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:46 AM**  
  
you could add in her skirt seams popping in the third one  
  
because it had such a long wick it built up more and more  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:46 AM**  
  
hmm?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:46 AM**  
  
change it from taking out the building to fucking  
  
taking out that city because of the extra OOMPH  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:47 AM**  
  
Jane's practically a nuke, now.  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:47 AM**  
  
I'm sure there's some Jade or aradia/Damara  
  
messing with the time it takes  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:48 AM**  
  
A lovely engine of pure destruction.  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:49 AM**  
  
mm  
  
but yes  
  
Aradia messing with Jane's fuse?  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:50 AM**  
  
let it tick all the way down  
  
turn it back  
  
all the while that huge grin on her face  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:50 AM**  
  
Does Jane enjoy it?~  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:50 AM**  
  
not at first im sure  
  
but Aradia will turn her on to the idea  
  
tie orgasming to detonation  
  
she can't cum unless the bomb goes off  
  
Aradia doing anything she wants to her knowing she can't climax unless the timer hits zero  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:52 AM**  
  
yesss  
  
...omg  
  
Time.  
  
What if ARADIA was also a time bomb? Hers going tick tick tick~  
  
**tecnicoCrossup-Today at 1:53 AM**  
  
oh shit thats right  
  
T1CK TOCK BR34K H34DS  
  
**Dusk-Today at 1:53 AM**  
  
Aradia's curvaceous body going tick. tick. tick.


End file.
